Nougat 26

So today’s Holy Nougat is hard for me. I don’t have answers, just pondering on the hard chew

“When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. Martha said to Jesus, Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.. Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” So Mary immediately went to him. When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. ‭‭John‬ ‭11:20-21, 28-29, 32‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So mine might have been phrased slightly differently, but the sentiment was the same. I knew God was present; but I couldn’t begin to comprehend why! Why would God allow a series of events that led to September 7? And some days, I do get it – kind of. But there are many days that trigger the why?

We call it theodicy – the problem of evil, or ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’. It’s the age old dilemma of theologians, not just pastors. I can still remember feeling slightly superior in my theology class because I knew that my faith was unshakable. I was living proof of nothing separating us from God’s love – away from home and everything familiar … ooh there were moments! But my faith stood the test of time and treasure! Hmm hmm. God was all time faithful – just in time scholarships; new ‘family’ to hang out with, new church home (and I’m still in touch with several of them) – yup. If people would only believe more – they would have no issue with evil.

I believed

Just like Mary and Martha did. And then there was September 7. Why would Jesus take my young nephew? It blew my mind and almost totaled my faith. I was no longer feeling superior. I still don’t have the direct answer to my why? Nor to the bigger issue. Why does God allow evil if God’s so good? Wouldn’t that make God … evil?

No it doesn’t

Not for my Lazarus story – without the traditional happily ever after – not for yours. Ironically, it makes God real – for we know that we can honestly take our angst to God and gain audience. It may not always be the answer we expected or desire; but even with silence; God will answer. Ask Bro Elijah – he can tell you all about it.

He was at the pinnacle of his career; then the death threats came. His faith was tested at the highest level. He went into severe depression (I know, I know – it’s not written like that in any version you read. Go read again and this time read between the lines). Lord where are you his heart cried – there was no witness protection program. So back to the wilderness he went – I’m sure he thought that life of raven food was over.

And in the silence of Elijah’s brokenness, he heard God!

Just like Mary and Martha in their anguish.

Just like you and me – if we choose to let God in.

Hmmn

Can we? Do we have the faith to start all over again?

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May all we seek be found in Christ