Nougat 26

Although accompaniment involves more than just correction, we continue to reflect on this. Moreover, we recognize that sometimes, the person we’re helping doesn’t listen just so. What next? The Bible has a recommendation for that. Consider Today’s Holy Nougat

“But if you are unsuccessful [in getting them to heed you], take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Reinforcements

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, persons who we try to accompany don’t seem very interested in correction. It may be that they don’t receive correction well, a response to us, or it may be that the issue requires some diplomacy. And here, I’m referring to an ‘impartial’ mediator or another concerned party.

Let me quickly insert a disclaimer here: We MUST NOT Get Self Righteous in approaching the issue.

It is an issue that we are addressing and critiquing; NOT the person. Thus, it’s not about scoring points against someone.

That being said, we prayerfully consider whom to accompany us the next time we meet. I say this, recognizing that the wrong accompanist can escalate correction into conflict very easily. As one who’s struggled with receiving public correction, I can’t emphasize this enough.

Offering critique is a sensitive issue. In athletics, in the entertainment industry and in other spaces we hear stories of starts ditching their managers for others. There are times when differences in personality are cited. Since we’re not managing all the people we accompany, rather, we seek to support them in their faith journey, we need to ensure that our intervention is helpful.

A third party can also be a reminder to us to keep our speech/responses uplifting. Our aim is to glorify God, not self. Hence, our conversation or action ought to be underlined with compassion and grace, perhaps even encouragement (not my strong point). Or, in Paul’s words, ’Let our conversation ALWAYS be gracious and seasoned with salt …(see Colossians 4:6). The other person should hopefully enable us to be gracious, not helping us to be a demolition squad.

How many young believers we’ve hurt with our sharp tongues – forgive us Lord!

Our Nougat also says that the third party serves as confirmation of what is said. I’m open to correction from others who’ve done this, but what I’m hearing here is that even in the moment of speech, the additional person listens prayerfully, not just to corroborate or amplify what is said; but also to affirm God’s take on the issue. Remember, the correction or the rebuke or support must still be about God’s glory.

And since it is a conversation, not a lecture, we also seek to ensure that The accompanied gets their say.

So, we’re not having others with us to play tag team in beating others. Nor are we aiming at ‘good cop, bad cop.’ Or intervention and accompaniment is about equipping saints in/for ministry. When we hold that before us, alongside giving God the glory, we should find that the outcome is positive. Reinforcements – yes. But all for God’s glory.

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May all we seek be found in Christ